


why hesitate?

by fruti2flutie



Series: The Boyz High School AU [4]
Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Comedy, Light Angst, M/M, Slow Burn, Texting, is there a tag for 'idk if this is actually a story or more like me projecting'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 18:04:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15977603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fruti2flutie/pseuds/fruti2flutie
Summary: Hyunjoon is his own person. He just has some trouble figuring out what that means.





	why hesitate?

**Author's Note:**

> -title taken from ["back 2 u" by the boyz](https://youtu.be/wcr5IPl7oCM)  
> -in another installment of How Many Times Can I Edit and Rewrite This Until I Am Satisfied  
> -spoiler alert: an undetermined amount bc i am never satisfied  
> - **warnings:** uhhhh mild swearing, a short scene involving homophobia by a slightly named character, a briefly mentioned fight, uhhhhhhhhhh idk? idk this entire fic is a warning, why do i write, there are probably mistakes everywhere, will fix one day, mb i'll even rewrite more, iDK uhhhh uHHHHHHHHHHH this is over 12k i' M SORRY

With the rain pooling at the edge of the streets, Hyunjoon is glad he keeps a retractable umbrella at the bottom of his messenger bag, stored away for occasions like these. He is not, on the other hand, glad that his friends always want to steal it from him.

“Get away from me,” barks Hyunjoon, holding Eric at an arm’s length. “Why don’t you have your own? I only have one!” He then glares at Haknyeon, who’s doing a terrible job at sneaking a hand into Hyunjoon’s bag. “Excuse me.”

“Hiya.” Crouched down, Haknyeon flashes a grin, hand paused midair. “Wild weather we’re having, am I right?”

Hyunjoon rolls his eyes. “Rain is a natural phenomenon.” He bats away Haknyeon’s hand. “Hardly wild.” April showers bring May flowers, as many would say.

Haknyeon gasps. “Wow, Hyunjoon. What’re you asking for? A tornado? A tsunami? Is this rainstorm not good enough for you!?”

“Show me an earthquake, then we’ll talk.”

Eric mutters under his breath, “Edgy.”

“Don’t you guys check the weather?” Hyunjoon opens his umbrella and holds it over his head. “It’s not like I can tell the future or something. The forecast said for a 75% chance of precipitation.”

“Checking the weather is not prioritized on my list of things to do,” Haknyeon says, affronted.

“List?” Eric scoffs. He says, in a completely inaccurate impression of Haknyeon, “ _Go to school, text Sunwoo, cheerleading practice, walk home with Sunwoo, eat chicken, go to a cafe with Sunwoo, eat jellies, play videogames with Sunwoo_ —” Haknyeon shoves him. “Hey, that hurt!”

“You’re lucky Sunwoo’s not here, pinky.” Haknyeon turns back to Hyunjoon, latching onto his arm, and switches on his cheerleader charm. “Come on, man! Let’s huddle. Our houses are close! Just drop me off and leave Eric at the curb. Best friend who? The garbage guys will be around tomorrow anyway.”

“Yeah—” Eric frowns. “Wait, what? No!”

Eric and Haknyeon, petty and relentless, continue squabbling for the opportunity to share Hyunjoon’s umbrella. Haknyeon tries to use his older age as an advantage, while Eric argues that his smaller stature makes more sense to accompany Hyunjoon. Hyunjoon watches, amused, as the verbal confrontation turns into Haknyeon headlocking Eric, the pink-haired boy wailing for mercy.

“Both of you, get under here,” Hyunjoon huffs, unable to take the tomfoolery. Haknyeon and Eric beam, crowding on either of his sides. “Don’t you dare step on my shoes. They’re worth more than your entire wardrobes combined.”

Rain pouring, they start in the direction of Haknyeon’s house, which is the closest. Eric’s voice is loud enough to drown out the poor weather, so everyone in a mile radius can hear him babble about his barely passing grade in chemistry. Haknyeon and Hyunjoon are only marginally better than him, which is pretty pathetic, but at least they don’t announce their mediocrity to the world.

“Hey, Hyunjoon,” Haknyeon whispers. Eric’s in the middle of talking about the new amusement park set to open next month, too absorbed in his own monologue to notice that his friends tuned out ages ago. “You got a text. I heard it do the _ding_.”

Hyunjoon pulls out his phone and smiles at the message. After typing a quick reply, he shoves it into his jacket pocket before the rain and Haknyeon’s intrusive eyes can get to it. Lifting the umbrella some, letting the rain attack the other two, Hyunjoon grunts, “God, it’s so cramped.”

While he wipes his wet arm against Hyunjoon’s sleeve, snuggling even closer to the older boy, Eric hums cheerily, “I’m a penguin.” Haknyeon does the same, without the animal identification, and a minute later collects a handful of rainwater to pour down Hyunjoon’s shirt. Despite the monsoon raging around them, Hyunjoon closes his umbrella to hit them with it.

——

 **JUYEON hyung (14:23)** **  
** Watch out for the rain!

 **hwall-hwall (14:25)** **  
** you’re telling me! i’m the only one w/ an umbrella!!!  
these clowns are MOOCHING off me!!!!!!!

 **JUYEON hyung (14:28)** **  
** LOL

——

“Good morning!” Eric trills, with his newly dyed hair, pink exchanged for an warm almond brown. He, Hyunjoon, Sunwoo, and Haknyeon are all in the same first period pre-calculus class, nestled in the corner of the classroom, reserved for insomniacs and chatterboxes. (It’s not hard to see what category the quartet falls in.) For the first few minutes before class, they chat about whatever’s running through their minds, usually thoughts of the weekend. “The birds are singing, the sun is shining, the air is fresh—”

Sunwoo jabs his finger in his ear, eyebrows furrowed. “Someone, help, I can’t get this incessant ringing out of my head,” he says, the same time Haknyeon exclaims, “I like your hair!”

Eric turns to Haknyeon and says, “Thanks, hyung! My sister did it for me!” Then, he pouts at Sunwoo. “There are tons of people who can appreciate the joys of the A.M., Sunwoo.”

“Those are the same people who lie to themselves and enjoy coffee,” Sunwoo grumbles.

“You have the taste buds of a child,” Hyunjoon snorts.

Sunwoo points his unsharpened wooden pencil at the other sophomore, squinting. “Watch your words, sophomore. I have a weapon.”

Eric murmurs, “Edgy: Kim Sunwoo Edition.”

“This is why I like Haknyeon hyung more, between him and Sunwoo,” Hyunjoon says. “I get less death threats from him, and zero death threats from Eric. Best friend of the year award, right here.”

“I am the human embodiment of sunshine,” Eric chirps cutely, voice high-pitched, Sunwoo’s fingers curling up in response.

Hyunjoon grimaces. “Okay, but _that_ gets hard to handle.” Eric squawks in protest. “So, are we on for Friday? It’s my house this time, yeah? I have to make sure my mom is cool with it.”

“Wild pizza party!” Haknyeon cheers. Hyunjoon’s distaste shows on his face, so Haknyeon amends in a calmer, more indoor voice, “Small, friendly get-together, which shall have an appropriate amount of wild.”

“I mean, invite the usuals,” Sunwoo says. “Younghoon hyung, and then that means Changmin hyung, which also means Chanhee hyung. Oh, basketball season is over, so there’s also—”

“I’ll ask Juyeon hyung!”

Sunwoo throws an eraser at Eric’s head, which gets blocked, impressively. “You interrupted me. Thanks for that.” He clears his throat. “As I was saying, fall sports are done. Juyeon hyung is probably good to go, and Jacob hyung, too, after the volleyball game.”

“And with Jacob hyung, there’s Sangyeon hyung.” Haknyeon hums in thought, scrunching his eyebrows. “Who else are we missing...? I feel like we’re leaving someone out.”

“Kevin hyung,” Eric quips, “so his plus-one is Hyunjae hyung.” Haknyeon makes a noise of triumph, despite not being the one with the epiphany. “That should be everyone, if my count is correct. Twelve in total!”

“Can twelve people total in my living room _really_ be considered a ‘small get-together’?”

“Of course,” Sunwoo and Haknyeon both chorus. Haknyeon giggles as Sunwoo ducks his head, shy.

Eric makes a face. “Gross. I got chills.”

“Let them be,” Hyunjoon sighs. “Young love in its finest form.” He smiles at his friends and gives Eric a hearty slap on the back. “We’ll get there one day.”

“Shut up, stretchy. You’re making it weird.”

——

 **JUYEON hyung (08:12)** **  
** I brought cookies today for journalism club!  
I’ll give you some before I head there!!  
Meet me by the gym entrance after the final bell?

 **hwall-hwall (08:13)** **  
** oh awesome!!!!! sure!! what kind of cookies?

 **JUYEON hyung (08:15)** **  
** Chocolate Chip! **  
** [image attached]

 **hwall-hwall (08:20)** **  
** OMG LOOKS GOOD

 **JUYEON hyung (08:21)** **  
** :^)

 **hwall-hwall (08:23)** **  
** stop using that face oh m ygod

——

Once Hyunjoon has his bag packed, he jogs down to the gym. Kids are filtering out of the school, eager to leave the property. He peers around the crowd and spots the dark-haired senior sitting on the bench by the gym entrance. There’s a plastic container on his lap as he stares intently at his phone screen.

“I was promised cookies,” Hyunjoon declares, prim, sliding next to the junior.

Once Juyeon looks up, a smile spreads on his face. “Hello,” he says.

“Cookies?” counters Hyunjoon.

Juyeon shows the slightest of pouts as he opens the lid of the container. “You only like me for my cookies...”

Hyunjoon cracks a grin. “Gee, how’d you know?” He takes the cookie Juyeon offers him and bites into it. The taste — melt in your mouth chocolatey goodness — is _phenomenal_.

“Good, right?” Juyeon laughs as Hyunjoon nods furiously. “I wanted to do something nice for the kids. They’ve been working hard at the typewriters, metaphorically speaking. My mom helped me with the recipe.”

“Your mom’s a genius,” Hyunjoon sighs dreamily, taking another cookie for himself. And then another, because God gave humans opposable thumbs to hold cookies.

“Hyunjae hyung said there were too many chocolate chips,” Juyeon mutters, downcast.

“What? I’ll have to fight him!”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Juyeon says, albeit with his lips quirking into a smile.

“He’s dishonored you and your mother’s exquisite cooking!” Hyunjoon exclaims. Once one of his hands is free after stuffing the remnants of the cookie in his mouth, he places it over his chest and declares royally, “I must defend her.”

Juyeon pinches Hyunjoon’s cheek, making the younger boy whine. “Hyunjae hyung may not say it, but I think he’s got a soft spot for you.”

Hyunjoon chuckles, nodding. “Yeah, I know. Don’t tell him, but he’s one of my favorite juniors.”

“And I’m not?” There’s a childish, disappointed quality to Juyeon’s question that makes Hyunjoon snicker.

“The cookies are greatly helping your ranking.”

The two of them sit for a while longer. Hyunjoon has a fourth cookie, per Juyeon’s allowance. The journalism club still needs to be fed, unfortunately, so Hyunjoon can’t take the whole tray for himself. Juyeon muses that he should double the amounts for the recipe next time. Two cookie trays would be much more beneficial than a measly one.

When he’s finished, Hyunjoon licks his fingers clean and pats his stomach, satisfied. “Thanks for sharing, hyung. Very delicious.”

“Any time,” Juyeon proclaims.

Rising to his feet, Hyunjoon announces, “I’m heading home. Got a stack of chemistry packets with my name on them.” He smirks. “Have fun at journalism club, hyung. Say hi to Hyunjae hyung for me.”

Juyeon says, reluctant, “I guess.” Hyunjoon laughs, and they share a fist-bump before they part ways.

——

 **hwall-hwall (17:53)**  
oh snap i forgot  
did eric tell you about friday?

 **JUYEON hyung (17:54)** **  
** I know about Friday  
That’s a good day of the week

 **hwall-hwall (17:55)** **  
** omg

 **JUYEON hyung (17:56)**  
:^)

 **hwall-hwall (17:56)** **  
** >:C

 **JUYEON hyung (17:58)**  
OK OK haha  
Your house, right?

 **hwall-hwall (17:59)** **  
** yup yup yup

 **JUYEON hyung (18:00)**  
Sounds good  
:^)

 **hwall-hwall (18:01)** **  
** that face  
you’re cancelled

 **JUYEON hyung (18:02)**  
>:^(

 **JUYEON hyung (18:05)**  
:^0

 **JUYEON hyung (18:09)**  
:^(

 **JUYEON hyung (18:15)**  
:,^(

 **hwall-hwall (18:16)**  
fine uncancelled

 **JUYEON hyung (18:17)**  
:^D

——

The floor mats are worn down to the point where Hyunjoon can feel the gym floor beneath his feet when he sticks his landings. Say what you will about the school’s favoritism of the athletics over the arts — Hyunjoon is willing to bet his _Love Yourself: Her_ (Ver. E) album that the orchestra kids aren’t at risk for fractured femurs on the daily. (Okay, so “on the daily” is pushing it. Two times a week, with an occasional Saturday morning practice.)

Gymnastics is an individual-based sport. As a team, the coach gathers them at the start of practice to go over how they each should be training. They practice in the gym, with blue mats and age-old equipment. She also assigns partners for the day, which helps to reduce injuries and allow for peer critique. Hyunjoon specializes in floor routines and pommel horse. Typically, he works on his landings and getting his hands in the right place.

Today, on a humid Tuesday afternoon, Hyunjoon is partnered with Minhyuk, a junior who does the uneven bars. They stretch together, complain about world history, and get to training on the floor mats. After about an hour, Hyunjoon’s eyes catch on a figure sitting midway on the bleachers, dutifully writing on a yellow notepad. Minhyuk notices, too, and clucks his tongue.

“Guess we’re taking a break?” Minhyuk asks. Hyunjoon nods. “Stay hydrated. You’re lookin’ thirsty.”

After punching Minhyuk’s shoulder, Hyunjoon makes his way over to the bleachers. He takes a seat in front of Juyeon and pokes the junior’s knee. “Watching me practice, are you?”

“I’m here for journalism club,” Juyeon responds, tapping his pen on his lip. “So, yeah, watching you practice.”

“You sure know how to make a guy feel special.” Juyeon hands Hyunjoon his own water bottle, stainless steel keeping the ice inside cool. “Thank you.” Hyunjoon makes sure to waterfall it, not in the mood for any more teasing from Minhyuk.

“How’s your condition?”

Hyunjoon stops drinking and holds the water in his cheeks, swallowing it all at once. “My ankle is flaring up,” he admits. As he tries to stretch it, dull pinpricks shoot up his leg. It’s an old, careless injury that happens to get to him every so often.

Juyeon leans forward, frowning, examining Hyunjoon’s leg. “Do you need a compression sock? I have a spare in my gym bag.”

“Is it used?”

“Mildly.”

“You’re offering a sweaty sock to me,” Hyunjoon deadpans.

“Ah,” Juyeon says. “Okay, I take that back. My bad.”

Hyunjoon smiles. “It’s the thought that counts,” he assures. He tries to peer at Juyeon’s notepad, but the junior is quick to cover it with his hand. “What’s in store for me today? The athletes’ column?”

Juyeon nods and answers, “It was my turn to choose the student-athlete. I hope you don’t mind I chose you.”

“Gee, hyung, I’m flattered. I’d be honored to participate.”

Laughing, Juyeon flips a page and starts scribbling. “Standard interview, roughly twenty questions. A few fun ones thrown in here and there.”

“Did you write all of them?”

“Siyeon and Hyunjae hyung helped. I couldn’t think of everything. I’m not that creative or funny.” When Hyunjoon fails at hiding a snort, Juyeon huffs, “You’re not supposed to agree so quickly!”

“I didn’t say anything!”

The interview begins with Juyeon asking Hyunjoon the generic questions: what year is he in, what sports does he play, what’s his favorite subject. Obviously, Juyeon knows the answers to those, but Hyunjoon thinks he likes following protocol. The tip of the junior’s pen doesn’t move an inch as Hyunjoon tells him _Heo Hyunjoon 101_.

Finally, Juyeon gets around to asking the interesting questions. They include fun facts, would you rathers, and choose this or that. In Hyunjoon’s opinion, these kinds of inquiries are more fun than knowing his blood type.

(“If you could switch to another sport, what would you try?”

“I’ve always wanted to be an equestrian. Ride horses for a living.” Hyunjoon hums. “Archery is more attainable in this school, so I guess I’ll go with that.”

“And your regular Starbucks coffee order?”

“Iced americano, cream and no sugar, with a splash of hazelnut syrup.”

“Chanhee must hate you,” Juyeon snickers.

“A little bit.”)

At the end of the interview, Juyeon closes his notepad and puts away his stuff. Hyunjoon still has a few minutes left of break, so he stays relaxed. Minhyuk is busy talking with the coach, anyway.

Hyunjoon flops onto his back, lying on the seat, a noise akin to a lion cub’s yawn in his throat. “I’m _tired_ ,” he whines.

Juyeon pokes Hyunjoon’s cheek. “You still have practice.” He pauses in thought. “I can give you a ride home, if you want. My car’s out front.”

Hyunjoon shakes his head. “It’s all good. I don’t want to keep you here long.”

“Alright.” Juyeon gets up, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “Do you need me to bring anything to your house Friday? Snacks or drinks?” He shuffles in place. “I can come early. I can make some of my famous guacamole, straight from a Food Network recipe book.”

“Sounds tasty,” Hyunjoon chuckles. “Yeah, you can come early — I don’t mind. Bring whatever, too.”

“Awesome.” Juyeon grins from ear-to-ear. “I’ll see you then!”

Gymnastic practice continues. Since Hyunjoon and Minhyuk started off on the mats, they move to the uneven bars for Minhyuk. He pats his hands with gym chalk and wipes a streak onto Hyunjoon’s nose, making the other boy hiss.

“You should focus on your sport,” Minhyuk chides, “not hot upperclassmen.”

Hyunjoon glares at him. “Would you quit it with that? Someone will get the wrong idea.” Minhyuk just shrugs. “He’s just... flirtatious by nature.”

“He is, or you are?” Minhyuk raises an eyebrow. “Or both?”

The uncalled for questions leave Hyunjoon threatening to throw chalk down Minhyuk’s shorts.

——

 **JUYEON hyung (19:12)** **  
** Mild or spicy salsa?  
I’m gonna try to make it with the guac!!

 **hwall-hwall (19:14)** **  
** hmmm  
mild  
jacob hyung can’t eat spicy

 **JUYEON hyung (19:17)** **  
** Oh yeah I almost forgot  
Thanks!!

 **hwall-hwall (19:18)** **  
** party-size tortilla chips too pls  
:)

——

On Wednesday night, Hyunjoon and Eric work together to finish their homework at Hyunjoon’s house. They’ve done this since elementary school: sitting on the floor by the coffee table, with reruns of Spongebob playing on the TV, papers scattered wherever they can write.

Eric’s family is sporadic in homecomings, with his mother working the nightshift as a nurse, his father a pilot, and his sister off at university on weekdays. On the other hand, Hyunjoon’s parents get home around six, so they’ve unofficially adopted Eric as a second son. He eats dinner with them nearly every other day, sleeps over on the last weekend of the month, and has his own toothbrush.

Even though it may seem unreasonable, with their ages only half a year apart, Hyunjoon treats Eric like a baby. They’ve known one another since they were in diapers, their fathers old schoolmates. Eric grew up for a few years in America before moving here, which meant it took awhile for them to meet in person. Their parents always had the two (along with Hyunjoon’s younger sister) go on playdates, so it was easy for them to get close. Even when Hyunjoon’s family temporarily relocated to the Philippines, Eric and his family kept in touch with phone calls and letters; when they’d returned, Eric continued to play with Hyunjoon like he’d never left. Eventually, Hyunjoon reached a point where he would tell people Eric was his little brother.

It’s the way Eric acts: immature, energetic, loud. None of those are negative traits, but it’s easy to associate them with a toddler in his terrible twos. It always feels like Hyunjoon needs to care for him, needs to assure him that he’s getting attention.

Like, for example, right now: as he wears mismatched unicorn socks, Eric chucking his pencil across the room and curling into an armadillo-esque ball onto the floor.

“Chemistry _sucks_ ,” he wails. “Why do we have to learn about titrations? When am I _ever_ gonna titrate a weak acid to a strong base in the real world? Chemistry isn’t relatable!”

“How many centimeters are in an inch? We use conversions all the time.” Hyunjoon smirks. “Relatable and relevant.”

“Okay, fine. Dimensional analysis is _kind of_ relevant. But that was, like, ten chapters ago! Baby content!” Eric flails his arms and legs like he’s a grumpy, wrong-sided turtle. “I hate equilibrium expressions! I hate nomenclature! I hate titrations! I hate—”

“You hate chemistry. I get it, man, but at least lighten up, like, three shades. You’re really bumming me out.” Hyunjoon rubs an eraser across his paper. “I can’t get any sociology done when I’m bummed. I already hate the class enough as it is.”

“Join me. Join me and suffer.”

“This is why you get shitty grades,” Hyunjoon remarks.

Eric lifts a finger to protest, but ultimately concedes to Hyunjoon’s point. “True, true.” He rolls onto his stomach. “Make me happy, Hyunjoon. Get my mind off science. Let’s talk about Friday!”

“What’s there to talk about?”

With a loud gasp, Eric rattles on, “What’re we doing? Watching movies? Video games? Board games? Viral challenges? ASMR? Yo, can we play Jenga?” He scrambles to sit upright. “No, Cards Against Humanity. Wait, better yet, Uno!”

“Hold your horses, cowboy. I don’t even know what we’re eating yet.”

“Ramen and pizza!” Eric screams.

Hyunjoon raises an eyebrow. “Seriously?” Eric nods eagerly. “Okay, maybe. But Juyeon hyung might cook some food, too. Salsa and guacamole. He’s trying to eat healthy.”

“What? Juyeon hyung is?” Eric blinks, surprised. “I— I didn’t know that.”

“We texted about it a while ago,” Hyunjoon says. He chuckles to himself. “I think it’s weird. All those greens are turning him into an herbivore.”

Eric doesn’t laugh right away — doesn’t laugh at all. Hyunjoon meets his eyes and sees wariness in the younger boy’s expression. It’s not a good sign. There’s a red flag that Hyunjoon has always seen in his peripheral vision, but Eric is only waving it in front of his face now. He takes that millisecond to prepare for the consequence.

——

 **JUYEON hyung (16:01)** **  
** Hyunjoon!!! Look!!!!!  
=^-^=  
[image attached]

——

The week before school was set to start, Sohn Eric and Heo Hyunjoon roamed the halls of the local high school for freshmen orientation. Their parents were in the cafeteria for parent orientation, so like all the other puny freshmen, Eric and Hyunjoon were off on their own to explore. Student volunteers were out and about as well, guiding youngsters to their lockers or classrooms. Security guards were scaring students with empty threats of detentions and late slips.

The two best friends were in search of their lockers. From the looks of it, they were nowhere near one another: Hyunjoon’s was on the third floor and Eric’s was rooted on the first. Still, they wanted to see where they were in relation to their classes and each other. Eric’s sister told him how sharing lockers is the best way to navigate school; Hyunjoon had already decided he’d make his own personalized shelf in Eric’s.

Expectedly, they got lost. The corridors were longer, with more doors and unnecessary pathways, in comparison to middle school. There were way too many stairways leading to nowhere, especially when Hyunjoon hated climbing them and agitating his ankle. Around this time, Hyunjoon was in the middle of physical therapy; he’d dislocated it during the eighth grade camping trip, hiking up a steep incline.

As the two were resting on the bottom step of the staircase leading from the first to the second floor, someone unfamiliar approached them. The neon yellow shirt he wore was an absolute eyesore, but the words _STUDENT VOLUNTEER_ printed over his heart gave Hyunjoon solace.

“Do you kids need any help?” he asked. His features were sharp, but his words were slow and precise.

“We’re not kids!” Eric snapped, jumping to stand in all his five-foot, three-inches of glory. The student was unfazed, but he stepped back, likely to ensure Eric wouldn’t hit him in the throat.

“I have to apologize for him,” Hyunjoon told the student volunteer. “He’s a little hot-headed but also clueless, so yeah, actually, we’d love help.”

Bemused, the student responded, “Okay, that’s fine by me. I’m Lee Juyeon, soon-to-be sophomore.”

“Sophomore, huh?” Eric narrowed his eyes. “You’re not even that much older than us!”

“I started late,” Juyeon said. After the younger boys introduced themselves as well, he laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Hyunjoon asked.

“Nothing, nothing.” Juyeon shrugged. “I think we’re gonna be good friends. You guys seem cool.”

Eric crossed his arms. “ _Seem_ cool? Aren’t you ahead of yourself? I _am_ the _coolest_ boy—”

“Please, don’t embarrass yourself,” Hyunjoon interrupted. Again, Juyeon laughed. “Hey, Mr. Sophomore, aren’t you gonna show us around?”

Juyeon did, happily.

Then, the boys started school in the fall and discovered that Juyeon was _kind of_ a big deal. Juyeon was the star of the basketball team, in all honors courses, as well as the classic, unattainable teen heartthrob. While they established a solid friendship nonetheless (i.e. regularly saying hi in the hallways and school events), it was quite intimidating for the mere freshmen. There was an unspoken gap between them, uncrossable for the high school hierarchy.

After a couple months, when they realized it was easier to ignore that and hang out anyways, everyone’s friendship with one another blossomed. Hyunjoon saw Juyeon often outside of classes, as did Eric. They also gathered together with mutual friends — Sunwoo knew Hyunjae, who knew Younghoon, who knew Changmin, etc., etc.

Hyunjoon has valued these relationships and, despite his young age, knows they’ll be long-lasting. He wonders, sometimes, how things can change. He wonders, even more so, if they have to.

——

 **JUYEON hyung (16:03)**  
It looks just like you!!!  
I can’t take it home, but!!! I’ll leave some water out

 **hwall-hwall (16:28)**  
CUTE

——

“Hyunjoon, hey, you know that I—” Eric picks at the skin of his nail. “I... really like Juyeon hyung, right? It’s a new thing, I guess. I’ve been seeing him a lot more lately, and I just... yeah.”

The furtive glances Eric sends Hyunjoon’s way almost makes the latter sigh, exasperated. It’s as if Eric is waiting to be ridiculed or scorned, but Hyunjoon would never (with true maliciousness). They’re as close as blood; Hyunjoon would say he knows Eric better than himself. Ever since they could write with wax crayons, Eric has told Hyunjoon about all his crushes — from the girl who borrowed a marker from him in kindergarten, to the boy on the tennis team in seventh grade. Presently, this crush of his is, at its core, nothing new.

The difference is the subject of Eric’s affection: Lee Juyeon himself, who’s not only an upperclassman but also a close friend, thoughtful and to-the-point, nearly opposite Eric’s personality. Hyunjoon is wary of the future that Juyeon and Eric can procure, but he’s a glass half full kind of guy. With no other reason not to, Hyunjoon should readily support his best friend and his crush.

(Although, when he comes to this conclusion, Hyunjoon feels something inexplicable brewing below the wake, refusing to bring itself to light.)

“Hyunjoon?”

The syllables of his name pull Hyunjoon from his thoughts. He smiles. “Everyone and their mother can tell you like him,” he says, gently, as if he’s talking to a wounded deer.

“H-Hey!” Eric’s face colors to beet red. “T-That’s not— That can’t be true! Shut up!”

Hyunjoon laughs, “I’m joking.” He taps his notebook, his fingers itching to move. “Juyeon hyung is... nice. I can see why you’d like him.”

A grin spreads across Eric’s face as he ducks his head, bashful. “Yeah, he’s really something! Prince Charming from _Cinderella_ mixed with Troy Bolton from _High School Musical_.” He sighs, with a light giggle that makes his smile grow wider.

“You have exactly one brain cell,” Hyunjoon says. “Don’t hurt yourself straining it.”

“Meanie.” Eric pouts, returning to his chemistry homework.

Hyunjoon goes back to sociology, hearing commercials for McDonald’s new frappe, listening to his best friend gush about how dreamy the basketball captain is. If he ignores the off-beat thump in his chest, he can pretend like there’s nothing wrong.

——

 **JUYEON hyung (19:21)** **  
** Do you have a shelf in your room?

 **hwall-hwall (19:22)**  
um yea why?

 **JUYEON hyung (19:24)**  
Oh nothing  
See you Friday!

 **hwall-hwall (19:25)** **  
** i swear we say that & we’ll still end up seeing each other

 **JUYEON hyung (19:27)** **  
** Is that what the kids call.... fate?

 **hwall-hwall (19:30)** **  
** okay mr. k-drama keep preaching

 **JUYEON hyung (19:31)**  
LOL

——

Hyunjoon doesn’t get into fights often. Nothing like hand-to-hand combat, fight to the death or however those _behind the stadium bleachers_ confrontations go. He’s a gymnast and would rather not have to deal with a twisted ankle or bruised wrist during competition season. It’s those verbal altercations that he has to deal with, products of frustrated practices and stressful encounters. There are days where Hyunjoon can’t take things in a stride, can’t keep his mouth shut when he should.

Today had been one of those days.

Thursdays are peculiar. Students are drained from the school week, yet eager for the upcoming weekend. In many, there’s an uncontrollable energy within oneself that spurs, energy that can burst free at the flip of a switch. In some, the switch turns on an electric fence.

All Hyunjoon had done was wear a coat of his favorite black nail polish, white flower petal decals painted on his pinkies. He’d just felt the need to treat himself last night to make eighth period today more tolerable. (His mind might be a mess, but he can control how he decorates himself.) He likes the way they look against his pale skin, especially when he matches his outfit with them.

Of course, the incident was in sociology, eighth period, class size of twenty-five. There was a substitute teacher who’d handed them worksheets to do during class time. If they ran out of time they could take it home to finish, which meant no one planned to get it done until then. Hyunjoon doesn’t have friends in the class, so when there are lulls he takes out his earpods and scrolls through Twitter.

That’s what he’d planned to do today — except there’s this dick for brains junior that sits in front of him who always thinks his opinion is warranted. Hyunjoon knows his name, but the abbreviated moniker _DBJ_ (Dick for Brains Junior) has grown on him.

The TL;DR of the situation can be broken down into three key points: the snide comment from DBJ, a needless response from Hyunjoon, and finally the fight. An extended version of the situation, honestly, is not worth the time and effort.

(Twisted in his seat, DBJ leaned across Hyunjoon’s desk and swiped his fingers across Hyunjoon’s phone screen. The interruption caused Hyunjoon to lose his place on his timeline after ten minutes of scrolling. He was already ticked off from that, so when DBJ sneered, “You paint your nails?” he wasn’t in the mood for pretending he didn’t hear.

“Yeah, what of it?” Hyunjoon could’ve added how black suits him best, but he was keeping the word count low.

DBJ made a face. “That’s pretty gay.”

If Hyunjoon had rolled his eyes any harder they’d have fallen out of his head. “Good for me, then,” he said, voice even. “Wouldn’t want people getting the wrong idea. You know what they say about the straights.”

“Uh, wow, isn’t this discrimination?” DBJ scoffed, and Hyunjoon really hoped he wasn’t being serious. “You’re not normal. Nail polish is for girls. Skirts and lip gloss and menopause are for girls. Don’t tell me you like _that_ crap, too?”

“Skirts and lip gloss if I’m feelin’ myself, but menopause is a physiological wonder that the gays aren’t ready to handle. Unless they have uteruses, which is a whole other story.” The utter bewilderment on DBJ’s face made Hyunjoon want to take a snapshot. Pictures are worth a thousand words, and in that moment DBJ had none.

“What the hell? Are you saying you’re a girl or what?” DBJ sneered at Hyunjoon. “Are you gonna try hitting on me now?”

Without missing a beat, Hyunjoon responded, “I’m positive that a cat that cleans its own ass with its tongue has better grooming habits than you.” He smiles. “Hard pass.”

“You little—”

The first punch was to Hyunjoon’s face, causing him to trip out of his seat and onto the ground. There were students gasping, hurrying to take out their phones to cause an uproar on Snapchat. DBJ got a few more hits in, as did Hyunjoon, before the substitute pulled them apart, sending them straight to the principal’s office.)

Now, at the end of the day, Hyunjoon awaits his punishment. DBJ is with the principal now, most likely getting reprimanded with nothing more than a slap on the wrist. Hyunjoon has witnessed his nasty behavior before, but a majority of the time he gets away with it. Haknyeon tells him that DBJ’s dad is a prominent member of the PTA, so maybe that’s why. Bad people aren’t born from bad people, but bad people from good people get more sympathy than Hyunjoon cares for.

Five minutes after Hyunjoon had sat down, DBJ finally leaves the office, back slouched and expression pissed. He kicks Hyunjoon’s foot as he passes, but it goes unnoticed by the secretary, whom he greets warmly, “Have a great afternoon, miss!” She giggles at the sweetness, unaware of Hyunjoon’s pain.

The next voice is Mrs. Kim’s. “Come inside,” it says. _Face your demons_ , is what Hyunjoon hears.

With muted steps, Hyunjoon opens the door to the principal’s office. Mrs. Kim sits in her black, overbearing chair, Hyunjoon’s file between her sharply-filed fingertips. There’s a Newton’s cradle on her desk, along with photo frames of her and her wife on vacation. Hyunjoon takes the seat in front of her, the cushion too soft for his liking, and braces himself for impact.

“I’m very disappointed in you, Hyunjoon. I’ve never expected someone like you to get into a physical altercation — near the end of the school year, nonetheless.” Mrs. Kim drums her nails on the desk, face dark. “You’re a star performer. An incident like this mars your personal record.”

“I’m aware,” Hyunjoon says, despondent. However, he remembers why he’d done it in the first place and goes on, “I don’t regret my actions, ma’am. I couldn’t let someone try to force me into a heteronormative box, especially when my business is none of theirs.”

Mrs. Kim isn’t impressed. She does a terrific job at concealing her emotions, and she’s completely fair as she declares, “You can’t change anyone’s mind with your fist, Hyunjoon.”

_Ouch._

“Since you have no marks against you prior to this incident, you will not receive a suspension. However, I am required to penalize you.” She takes out a stack of green slips and licks the pad of her thumb to pull out several. “You’ll have to serve after school detention starting next week.”

Hyunjoon nods. He counts five slips, which means he’ll serve detention every day. It’s tough, but at least he’s not being suspended. His parents, still, will be furious.

“I’ll notify your coach,” she continues. “You’ll be forced to miss gymnastics practice. Luckily for you, you may still participate in regionals at the end of the year.”

“I understand.”

“Before you go—” Mrs. Kim gets up and stands in front of Hyunjoon, expression stern. “Don’t keep things hidden. An outburst like this from someone as level-headed as you must be a result of bottled up emotions. It’s the can of Coca-Cola that’s sat at the bottom of your bag and has been jostling around for who-knows how long.”

Hyunjoon bows his head. “Thank you, Mrs. Kim.”

The metaphor is eerily accurate. It echoes through his ears, making his chest hurt. When he steps out of the main office, he almost runs straight into someone who’s most definitely a fire hazard.

“Oh, sorry.” Juyeon puts his hands in his pockets. “You look terrible,” he proclaims, matter-of-fact. From anyone else, the statement would sound too frank to take seriously. From Juyeon, though, it’s entirely pure.

“Thanks. I feel it, too. I can’t talk without the taste of blood in my mouth. It just won’t go away.” Hyunjoon runs his tongue over the cut and jokes, “Is this what it feels like to get a lip ring?”

“Ha-ha, very funny. Have you gone to the nurse?”

“I’m on my way there,” Hyunjoon answers. “Had to talk to the principal. My injuries aren’t life-threatening, so I got that out of the way first.”

“I’ll walk with you,” Juyeon offers.

Hyunjoon frowns and turns on his heel so he’s headed towards the nurse’s office. There’s an ache in his step that he chooses to ignore. “My legs aren’t broken.”

Juyeon sidesteps in front of Hyunjoon, making him halt abruptly. “You’re limping,” he points out. Hyunjoon can’t argue that. “I can hold your bag.”

“Fine.”

It feels like a defeat, watching Juyeon take Hyunjoon’s bag from him. Physically, the weight is lifted from his shoulders, but there’s another weight that Hyunjoon can’t seem to shake off.

The nurse’s office is on the west side of the first floor. The walk shouldn’t take long, but Hyunjoon is pacing himself. He hadn’t felt it before, more so focused on meeting with the principal, but now the pain in his ankle is flaring without hesitance. DBJ’s kick hadn’t helped it, either. Juyeon stays beside him, not mentioning the speed or the time.

Inside the nurse’s office, Hyunjoon’s injuries get treated. The nurse, who he’s well acquainted with, reprimands him for them, especially his ankle, which she specifically told him “not to mess up anymore.” His lip gets disinfected, and she gets an ice pack for his face and ankle. There’s also a scrape on his thumb he hadn’t noticed before, so she bandages that up, too. From the candy jar on the counter, Juyeon takes a butterscotch Dum-Dum and pockets a cotton candy one, too.

“No more of this nonsense,” the nurse tuts, after all is said and done. “I don’t want to see you again. _Either_ of you.” She takes the ice pack from Hyunjoon and gives him icy-hot pads to-go. “Avoid walking long distances, Hyunjoon. Get home safe, boys.”

Shooed out the door, Juyeon and Hyunjoon start on their way to the front entrance. Juyeon is still holding onto Hyunjoon’s bag, now twirling a tiny lollipop between his long fingers. The more Hyunjoon thinks about it, the more confused he gets. He slows down and, when Juyeon shows no sign of stopping, grasps the back of Juyeon’s shirt.

“Aren’t you gonna ask what happened, hyung?”

There’s a lull, where Juyeon seems to ponder the inquiry. “Do you want me to?” he finally counters. Hyunjoon looks away, draws his hand back, and shakes his head. “Then I won’t.” He shows him a soft smile.

“I _will_ say,” he goes on, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

There’s a stutter in Hyunjoon’s chest. “Okay,” he says, more air than words, and they keep walking.

By the time they reach the doors, Hyunjoon is thoroughly winded. He does his best to keep it contained, but even the slightest pressure on his leg causes him to wince. He makes it seven steps from the building before tripping on a crack and almost twisting his _other_ ankle. Thankfully, Juyeon sticks an arm out and catches him, drawing him back to a standing position.

“Thanks,” Hyunjoon says. The proximity between them is too close for comfort, which Juyeon must also realize as well as he jerks away.

“I’ll— I can drive you home,” Juyeon stammers, scratching behind his ears, which are glowing red. “Mostly everyone already left, and I seriously don’t think you should walk.”

“You act like I’ll collapse on the street,” Hyunjoon teases. On the inside, he’s overjoyed. Walking in his current condition may be a recipe for disaster.

Juyeon’s lips quirk. “Wouldn’t wanna risk it.”

Because he’s a junior, Juyeon’s car is parked in the second lot from the entrance. Hyunjoon has ridden in it before on occasion; Juyeon getting his license last year meant shared car rides to group hangouts. Juyeon gives Hyunjoon the other Dum-Dum while he gets the car unlocked.

The car is nothing spectacular — a hand-me-down Toyota Rav4 from his uncle, scratches along the sides after years of wear and tear. Sometimes the seatbelts get jammed, sometimes the aux player takes a few (physical) hits to get going, but the car can drive smoothly down the freeway, which is what matters in the long run.

Hyunjoon throws open the front seat as Juyeon places their stuff in the backseat. While Hyunjoon struggles to get the seatbelt fastened, Juyeon hooks his phone to the aux cord and asks, “Any requests?”

“Surprise me.” Hyunjoon watches Juyeon swipe through his phone to get to his Spotify account, where he puts on a playlist that starts off with a song Hyunjoon doesn’t know.

“ _Galaxy._ This is Akdong Musician,” Juyeon says. “I think you’d like it.”

Hyunjoon does. The melody is more mellow and down to earth than what he typically listens to. The sibling duo have clean, refreshing voices that make Hyunjoon’s lips upturn. He knows Juyeon is an avid R&B listener, so this is different from his usual style, too. They both tap a beat — Hyunjoon down, Juyeon up — to the music until they reach Hyunjoon’s house.

Juyeon helps Hyunjoon out by the hand like he’s a princess exiting her horse-drawn carriage, instead of some shabby sophomore leaving a decade-old Toyota Rav4. He even takes Hyunjoon’s bag again as they walk to Hyunjoon’s front porch, strides in sync and languid.

“Do you want a ride tomorrow?” Juyeon asks. “To or from school; I can do either or both.”

“My mom can drive me in the morning. And then I can probably hitch a ride with Sangyeon hyung home.” Hyunjoon gently nudges Juyeon’s side. “But thanks for the offer.”

Once they’re in front of Hyunjoon’s door, Juyeon passes him his bag. “See you tomorrow. For real, this time.”

The smile that Hyunjoon gives him must not be convincing enough, because Juyeon twists his lips and opens his arms. It’s a silent gesture; Juyeon has always been the _actions are louder than words_ type. After the day Hyunjoon has gone through, it’s tempting. Juyeon doesn’t force it, but soon Hyunjoon is leaning against him, arms around Juyeon’s middle, hooking his chin onto Juyeon’s shoulder.

Hyunjoon is in the middle of his growth spurt, so Juyeon is taller than him but not by much. He fits snuggly against Juyeon’s body. They don’t say a word to each other, letting the moment exist in quiet. The feeling of comfort, safety, affection is one he’d love getting used to.

However, Hyunjoon can’t help but think of a boy not too much younger than himself, pining after the basketball team’s captain, who’d do anything to be in his place. Guilt, an ugly emotion that deposits onto the base of Hyunjoon’s heart, keeps him from staying in Juyeon’s embrace longer.

——

 **JUYEON hyung (23:19)** **  
** If you ever need someone to talk to, I’ll be here

 **JUYEON hyung (23:59)** **  
** And if you need space, I’ll still be here

 **hwall-hwall (00:10)** **  
** thanks

 **hwall-hwall (00:12)** **  
** i’m sorry for worrying u

 **JUYEON hyung (00:13)** **  
** You don’t have to apologize to me

 **hwall-hwall (00:20)** **  
** you’re too good for me

 **JUYEON hyung (00:21)** **  
** Too good for you?

 **hwall-hwall (00:22)**  
*to  
typo lmao

 **JUYEON hyung (00:25)** **  
** Wow made me a little disappointed there  
Thought I was good enough haha

——

Late in the night, Hyunjoon whispers to no one but himself, “I hate this.” Putting his phone on the charger, he turns over and doesn’t move to check it again.

——

 **JUYEON hyung (00:37)**  
<https://youtu.be/uQFVqltOXRg>  
Good song, if you have trouble sleeping  
Sweet dreams

——

Haknyeon, Sunwoo, and Eric don’t talk about the bruise on Hyunjoon’s cheek the next morning. Hyunjoon had his fair share of second-takes in the halls, but his friends brush right past the elephant in the room upon his arrival. Haknyeon wordlessly passes him a travel-size Vaseline tub for his split lip, but other than that none of his friends acknowledge his wrecked state. He’s thankful, and yet he can’t manage to look Eric in the eye. If anyone notices that, that’s another elephant that goes overlooked.

The day passes like a typical Friday, dragging through the hours with no one wanting to learn a thing. The teachers are normally kind by this time of the week, with only two of Hyunjoon’s teachers giving him quizzes for the class material while the rest are only short lectures.

At lunch, Hyunjoon doesn’t have much of an appetite. He’d brought an apple and a snack bag of trail mix from home; he couldn’t stomach anything more past breakfast. Yesterday, dinner was forced down his throat as his parents gave him his list of chores to do over the weekend. He’s not grounded, per se, so he can still have friends over, but he can’t go unpunished.

Normally, he sits and eats alone. Lunch is a time for him to relax. There are times, though, where he may go to someone or vice versa, just for the sake of changing the routine. Today is a strange day, where he’s not sure what he wants to do. Fortunately, a face he hasn’t seen in a while comes to his side to offer guidance in exchange for an almond.

“Down in the lows,” Hyunjae proclaims, taking a raisin, too. “I feel that.”

Sighing, Hyunjoon lays his head on his arm. His phone vibrates on the table, a familiar name appearing at the top, but he doesn’t attempt to read it. Instead, he closes his eyes and lets Hyunjae slip an M&M into his mouth.

The junior frowns at Hyunjoon’s phone. “Aren’t you gonna check that?” Hyunjoon shakes his head. “What? Why not?”

“I need space,” Hyunjoon says. He stretches his arms forward. “Time to think.”

Hyunjae runs his fingers through Hyunjoon’s hair as if soothing a tired kitten. “Where’s your fire, young one? The blaze that normally burns in your eyes is extinguishing.”

“It’s... complicated.”

Growing serious, Hyunjae asks, “Is it about a boy?” Hyunjoon nods solemnly. Now, losing all seriousness, “Let me just say: ever since I started dating Kevin, my romantic sense has gone up a solid three percent. I’ve absorbed it from him, like the process of photosynthesis.”

“Osmosis,” Hyunjoon corrects.

“Sure, whatever, bless you.” Hyunjae starts ruffling Hyunjoon’s hair, making it stick up and out. “Whatever’s bugging you, I’m sure you can figure it out. You’re a smart cookie.”

“I... like someone,” Hyunjoon grumbles, “but someone else— someone more important to me likes him, too. I don’t know what to do.”

Hyunjae is silent. He exhales. “That’s a dilemma,” he settles on. “Have you talked about it? With either of them.”

“This is the first time I’m acknowledging it out loud, so.” Hyunjoon shrugs. “I don’t know what I would say to _either_ of them.”

“You remind me of myself,” Hyunjae says, wistful. He pinches Hyunjoon’s cheek. “Sounds like you should reevaluate your relationships and what you want in the future. What you want and what you can handle. Who and how to love— uh, like. I mean, _like_. You’re a baby, and love is for the big boys.”

Hyunjoon snorts. He feels a vibration near him, but unlike before it’s not coming from his own phone.

“Oh, it’s _my_ boy.” Hyunjae hums. “I have to dip, but I’ll see you later. Try not to stress too much. You’re too handsome for gray hairs.” He pauses. “Actually, if you dye your hair gray, you could work it.”

“Thanks, hyung. For everything.”

With Hyunjae’s moral support in mind, Hyunjoon’s anxiety lowers greatly. Sitting in sociology is the worst of it, from the indiscreet glances his classmates give him, but it’s back to the regularly scheduled programing with the return of the teacher. DBJ is nowhere to be found, which is a plus.

After classes are all over, Hyunjoon asks Sangyeon for a ride home. Sangyeon gets used as the chauffeur for the younger kids often, so it’s not a surprise that he hears that Eric, Sunwoo, and Haknyeon are hitching a ride as well. At the end of the school day, they plan to meet Jacob at the front entrance as Sangyeon pulls up his minivan.

When Hyunjoon gets to the meeting spot, a few minutes late due to his slower pace, he sees that Sunwoo and Haknyeon are already there with Jacob. His friends are aimlessly kicking around Sunwoo’s soccer ball. (Since it’s way past soccer season, Sunwoo just brings one around for fun to show off to Haknyeon.) Jacob is having the most difficult time, missing and tripping over his feet; the senior is much more adept with his hands over his legs.

What’s throwing Hyunjoon off is the lack of a certain loud-mouthed, still growing sophomore. Joining them, he looks around, confused. “Where’s Eric? I thought he was coming, too.”

Sunwoo shrugs. “He said he had stuff to do.”

“I think he wanted to talk to a teacher? I dunno,” Haknyeon adds. “I guess he found a ride, so we’ll see him later.” He stops the soccer ball coming towards him with his foot, carefully eyeing Sunwoo. “Hello, sir, did you just—”

“Come on, guys,” Jacob interjects gently. The car pulls up to the curb, so he tugs on Sunwoo’s arm before the soccer player can start a petty fight with his boyfriend. “Let’s get going before Sangyeon hyung has a fit.”

“He wouldn’t get mad at you,” Sunwoo scoffs. Jacob only laughs in response.

Hyunjoon follows his friends to the car. He chances a look at the school, wondering if Eric has figured him out. Wondering if, bringing Hyunjoon’s greatest fear to the surface, Eric has lost trust in him.

“Hyunjoon!” Haknyeon yells. “We’re wasting gas! Let’s try to save the ozone layer, okay?”

Smiling, despite his worries, Hyunjoon gets in the car.

——

 **JUYEON hyung (14:18)**  
Will be at your house around 4!

 **JUYEON hyung (14:57)** **  
** Actually  
Maybe 4:30

——

In preparation for the Friday get-together, Hyunjoon does a quick clean of the house once Sangyeon drops him off. He sweeps off the leaves from the front porch, dusts the handrails of the stairs, and makes sure all the dishes are in the dishwasher. As for the living room, where everyone is most likely going to stay, he sets out a few folded blankets and throw pillows. He also makes sure his younger sister promises to stay in her room until all his friends leave. (She gives her word, but Hyunjoon also lets her use his Netflix account for the night, which should keep her busy.)

His parents are well acquainted with all his friends, but like any good hosts they want the guests to feel welcome, which equates to an organized home Hyunjoon fakes for a few hours. They won’t be staying, dubbing it _date night_ , so they put Sangyeon in charge of the house. Not their own son, no, but obviously the student body president who’s a tier above Hyunjoon in the authoritative scale of his own bloodline.

Like all the Friday get-togethers his friends plan, Hyunjoon has no idea how it’ll play out. Last time, the Friday before spring break, they’d had it at Jacob’s house — Sangyeon cooked dinner, Kevin baked cupcakes for dessert, and they played the Game of Life until one A.M. Another Friday, they’d spent the whole time watching anime off Younghoon’s recommendation list, i.e. five hours worth of One Piece.

The twelve of them play by ear. Whatever happens, happens. They set up a time and place, and it works out.

Around a quarter to four, the first set of knocks comes to Hyunjoon’s door.

“Hey—” Hyunjoon cuts himself short the moment he sees his best friend, cheeks flushed, expression serious. “Eric? You’re here... early. What’s up?”

Eric walks past him, into the house, and heads straight to the living room. “Have to talk with you,” he says, the sentence thrown gruffly over his shoulder. “Urgent matters.”

There are few instances where Hyunjoon has thought to take Eric seriously. He’s always bright and cheerful and, unless someone cheats during _NBA 2K18_ or insults the lore of Pokémon, he doesn’t get angry. This isn’t anger, or sadness, or confusion; it’s something else that Hyunjoon can’t name.

When Eric falls onto the couch, Hyunjoon sits on the floor in front of him and asks, “You okay?”

The question is left unanswered. Hyunjoon doesn’t press, knowing it wouldn’t do any good. He lets Eric take his time, and when he speaks it’s to ask a question of his own.

“Can you tell me—” Eric closes his eyes. He breathes out through his nose, eyes settling heavily on Hyunjoon. “Can you tell me the whole truth?” The question is charged, albeit ambiguous. He waits for Hyunjoon to nod before asking, loud and clear, like he’s been practicing this very confrontation beforehand.

“Do you like Juyeon hyung?”

Hyunjoon blanches. His palms get clammy, and his breath hitches. He stammers, stutters, stops. He’s scared. “I don’t know what to tell you,” he murmurs, a guilty confession.

“Yes or no. That’s all.”

“I—” Hyunjoon can’t lie, not to Eric. “Yes, I do.”

For the second time today, Hyunjoon has breathed life into the hidden feelings stored in his heart. He’s refused to believe they were real, refused to acknowledge they existed. He’s never known how to approach his own problems without repressing them. Maybe he wants to, but he’s never been his own priority.

And Eric knows this, too well, whether Hyunjoon likes it or not.

“I told him how I feel,” Eric says, sinking into the chair, looking off to the side. “Juyeon hyung. I confessed.”

There’s an ice-cold response on Hyunjoon’s skin. The sensation is unpleasant, unwanted. _This_ is what Hyunjoon was afraid of. “How’d he respond?” he asks, careful.

Eric, unexpectedly, lets out a laugh. “He bro-zoned me!” He puts a pillow in his lap and tugs at its sides. “Told me I’m like his brother. Can you believe that? After I poured my young, innocent heart out!”

“That’s... too bad, man.” Really, Hyunjoon doesn’t how to react. Should he joke with Eric, too, or offer comfort? He’d expected more hostilaty on Eric’s end resulting from the discovery of Hyunjoon’s feelings, not the usual chipper attitude with minimal whining. He’s sure his conflictedness shows, because Eric goes _tsk_ and reaches out to poke his forehead.

“You know what he also said?” (Eric doesn’t give Hyunjoon the chance to guess.) “He said that there’s _someone else_ he’s interested in.” Hyunjoon’s eyes widen. “I guess I shouldn’t’ve been surprised. He was obvious about that one, actually. More obvious than I was.” He laughs, but it sounds weaker than before. “I just... tried not to see it. I ignored what I didn’t want to happen.”

“Eric, I—”

Before Hyunjoon can get a word in, Eric pokes his forehead again and says, “I don’t hate you. I could never, so don’t even start.”

“I’m sorry,” Hyunjoon mumbles.

“It’s not your fault.” Eric sighs. “It was all on me for being presumptuous — selfish, even.”

“You don’t deserve a rejection.”

“I was never guaranteed an acceptance,” Eric retorts. “Look, there are plenty of fish in the sea! Heck, I’m young, wild, _and_ free.”

“Are your rhymes hitting Soundcloud soon?” Hyunjoon’s teasing has the desired effect, making Eric scoff and bat him with the pillow. It makes him grin, relieved, that this feels a little more normal.

“I got loads of time to find love,” Eric declares. “For _instance_ , I’ve always been interested in Doyeon from the volleyball team. She walks around like a Korean Barbie doll.”

Hyunjoon bites his lip, trying to hide smile. “She’s lesbian, Eric, with the cutest girlfriend, too.”

Eric blinks. “Huh. Okay, um, duly noted. Will move on to future endeavors.” He laughs at himself and pulls Hyunjoon onto the couch beside him.

“Honest talk for a second,” he begins. “Was I holding you back? And don’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

Hyunjoon thinks it over. “I think... I was holding myself back without realizing it? You’re my best friend, and I always want to take care of you. It wasn’t _about_ you, but more like... wanting you to be happy.” He purses his lips. “I didn’t realize my feelings ‘til yesterday. Nothing really makes sense to me. Teenage life is strange, so I’m left to figure it out.”

“I’m here for you, buddy.” Eric hugs Hyunjoon from the side. “You better get with him soon. He’s a keeper.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be heartbroken?”

Waving a hand, Eric pulls his legs into a cross-legged position. “It was just a crush. I think it only lasted a month, but you? Honest to God, I think yours spans longer.” When he takes a look at Hyunjoon’s face, he giggles. “Aw, you’re blushing.”

“Pardon?”

Heo Hyunjoon does _not_ blush!

——

 **JUYEON hyung (16:23)** **  
** Open up! I’m here!

——

As he goes for the door, Hyunjoon prepares himself to act normal around the basketball captain. Once he gets it open, he realizes it won’t be hard at all. Juyeon is dressed like he’s just emerged from a JC Penney ad, denim jacket over flannel over graphic tee. He’s also holding groceries with handles that are on the verge of tearing, his image screaming _filial son who helps his mom make dinner_. Off the court, Juyeon is a big goof with an even bigger heart, so maybe that’s why Hyunjoon likes him so much.

“I brought avocados,” the junior declares, lifting up the very full grocery bag. “Amongst other items.” There’s another bag, made of plain paper, in his opposite hand, much lighter, but he holds it behind his back before Hyunjoon can peer inside.

“You can bring them to the kitchen,” Hyunjoon says. He hesitates before admitting, “Eric is here.” Juyeon shows a brief look of surprise, which ends with one of his signature _ah_ s. “I already heard what happened, but... try not to be weird about it.”

Juyeon musters a smile. “Okay, I’ll try.”

When they head to the living room, Eric bounds from the couch and throws his arms in the air. “Viva la vida, boys! Where’s the guac?”

“Has to be made first,” Juyeon answers. He nods to the kitchen. “If you don’t mind... can I have a hand? If you don’t mind.”

Eric laughs. “I would say you don’t have to say it twice, but you already did. To the cutting board!” For a split second his grin wavers, but he’s strong. “Come on, hyung! We’ve got avocados to peel! Wait, you peel avocados, right?” He pushes Juyeon to the kitchen, rattling on about the categorizations of fruits.

“Not weird at all,” sighs Hyunjoon.

Over the course of the next hour and a half, the rest of Hyunjoon’s friends arrive at his home. Sangyeon comes twenty minutes after Juyeon, bringing a tray of brownies and then regretting it once Eric tries to stuff half of it into his mouth. (He says that Jacob will come later, after he’s finished being the school’s star setter. Sangyeon had wanted something to do in the meantime.) Younghoon comes next, swinging his car keys around his finger and immediately taking residence on the couch. When Changmin and Chanhee arrive, they have a very fulfilling conversation with the host.

“Your house smells like lemons,” Changmin says.

“It’s scented cleaning product,” Chanhee explains.

“I take it back,” Changmin says. “Your house smells like fake lemons.” Chanhee nods.

“Thanks...?” Hyunjoon thinks they’re strange, but they’re strange together, at least.

Sunwoo and Haknyeon appear, not even waiting for Hyunjoon to open the door, letting themselves in like they own the place. While Sunwoo goes to mess with Chanhee’s hair, Haknyeon immediately heads to the kitchen and makes it his job to taste test the salsa, guacamole, brownies, and whatever’s open in the fridge. Hyunjae and Kevin bring a tote bag full of DVDs, which is pretty redundant in the era of streaming but is appreciated nonetheless. Last but not least is Jacob, who’s freshened himself up after (winning) the volleyball game.

With everyone present, they can finally decide what to do for the night. They take a vote on it and find their opinions split. After ordering a few boxes of pizza, the group chooses to compromise: have a movie playing on the TV as they play a card game. Jacob is bummed; he’d wanted to play a Smash Bros. tournament. Sangyeon tells him they can next time, which defeats the purpose of the democracy, but no one finds need to argue against it.

“Got any suggestions for what to watch?” Hyunjoon asks, sitting on the ground, browsing through Netflix. Kevin is picking out DVDs, too, for more options.

“ _The Wailing!_ Let’s get scared!” Younghoon shouts, excitedly hitting the nearest body, which happens to be Eric, who hits him back.

“Sunwoo and Jacob hyung are too fragile for that,” Chanhee says, laying his head on Changmin’s shoulder while they sit by the foot of the couch. “Sorry, hun,” he murmurs, patting Changmin’s thigh.

“It’s alright,” Changmin hums. “We must protect the children.”

Sneering, Sunwoo throws a tortilla chip in their direction. “Okay, wow, call me out, why don’t you?” Unlike him, though, Jacob is perfectly content being called a child for his glass heart.

“Why don’t we watch an animated movie?” Haknyeon suggests. “Everyone loves good animation, so everyone can be happy.” Sunwoo smiles at him, which makes him smile brightly in return. Changmin throws a chip at _them_ this time.

Hyunjoon reads off a few titles from the animated category, but the group is apathetic towards each one. “Oh, okay, what about _Sing_? Can’t go wrong with an anthropomorphic talent show.”

Chanhee claps his hands and exclaims, “Oh, I love Tori Kelly!” Jacob brightens, too.

“Pass. We watched that yesterday.” Hyunjae gestures to Kevin, who smiles guiltily.

Sunwoo gapes. “What is The Point, capital T _and_ P, of watching movies with friends, when the two of you are off doing movie date nights the night before?”

“I like movies,” Kevin murmurs.

“And I like Kevin,” Hyunjae says, louder. Sunwoo rolls his eyes. “Don’t roll your eyes at me! Hey, imagine if we all went out for _dinner_. You and Haknyeon are the same exact way, eating your fill across town!”

Sunwoo scoffs, “That is _not_ the same thing—”

“No fighting,” Sangyeon chides. “We are here for one reason and one reason only.”

“Hyunjoon’s Netflix account,” Younghoon declares.

“Getting demolished by the skinny legend himself at Uno,” Eric replies.

“Salsa and guac,” Jacob chirps. “And they’re not even spicy! Juyeon is so considerate.”

“You’re welcome, hyung. Glad you’re enjoying it.”

“No. No, no. _No._ ” Sangyeon heaves a sigh. “Friendship. The answer was friendship, guys. Come on.”

Kevin tentatively holds up a DVD case. “How about _Ratatouille_? I’ve got it on Blu-Ray and DVD.”

“Which one is that? That’s cooking, right?” Younghoon asks.

“Disney, Pixar. Released 2007. It’s the one where a rat that has a superior sense of taste and creativity strives to become a chef in Paris, but his family is against it and he’s also a rodent, so.”

Jacob wrinkles his nose. “Ew.”

“It’s a classic!” Eric exclaims.

“Well, good food’s food,” Haknyeon says, shrugging. Chanhee’s face contorts into an appalled grimace. “What? It’s true!”

“Babe,” Sunwoo says. “No.”

“Isn’t the movie gonna be background anyway?” Changmin asks. “Who cares what we’re watching? Whether the logistics of it are acceptable to the health department can be counted as creative freedom.”

“As long as there are no jumpscares.” Jacob shudders.

Again, because they appreciate the concept of democracy, the group takes a vote on it. Ten out of twelve vote for _Ratatouille_. Chanhee doesn’t raise his hand; Sangyeon abstains from taking a side to ensure it’s fair. This isn’t the first occurrence of Everyone Against Chanhee. Changmin makes sure to stay by his side and feed him pieces of brownie so he doesn’t sulk as much. With half a year’s experience, being Chanhee’s boyfriend is a breeze.

Hyunjoon sets up the DVD player for Kevin to put in the movie. After inserting the disk, Kevin twiddles his fingers like an orchestra conductor beginning a performance.

“Cooking with rat — commence!”

Eric somersaults across the ground, slamming down a deck of cards. “I’ve got Uno! Who’s ready to die? Gather ‘round!”

“You won’t have victory this time,” Haknyeon vows, determined, as he rolls up his sleeves. “Sunwoo, get down here. If you skip my turn, I’m breaking up with you.” Sunwoo gulps.

“Low blow,” Jacob whispers. Pulling Sangyeon into the circle, he turns to his boyfriend. “Well, if you pull a draw four on me, I’m revoking hugging rights.” Sangyeon, wearing a look of devastation, is comforted by Sunwoo’s hand on his shoulder.

Eric recruits three-quarters of them for the game. Juyeon sits out; he claims he’s traumatized by the three-hour long match they’d had during New Year’s Eve. Kevin and Hyunjae don’t play, because the former gets too invested in telling the latter fun facts about _Ratatouille_ ’s animation process and storyline. Younghoon falls asleep, which automatically disqualifies him.

“We out here,” Eric declares, dealing seven cards around the circle. “With the power of God and Remi on my side, I will—”

Hyunjae pushes Eric over with his foot. No one blames him.

——

 **hwall-hwall (18:57)** **  
** where’d u go???

 **JUYEON hyung (18:58)** **  
** Outside your room!

 **hwall-hwall (18:58)** **  
**?????

 **JUYEON hyung (18:59)**  
Wait not in a weird way  
I gotta give you something, I just  
Uh  
Come here?

——

The message takes a few seconds to process, even after Hyunjoon has read it twice. It’s weird, but he’s fairly certain Juyeon’s not about to hail a raid on his room. He wonders, though, what on earth Juyeon could be doing.

With Uno still going strong, Hyunjoon entrusts his hand to Eric while he gets up to find Juyeon. Eric gives him a look, a subtle wiggle of the eyebrows.

“Get back soon,” he says, much like a warning but with good intention. It’s received well, and Hyunjoon keeps it in mind as he heads to his room.

Outside Hyunjoon’s door, Juyeon is waiting with the paper bag he’d brought in earlier, twisting the handles around his finger. It makes Hyunjoon’s heart race in anticipation, but he doesn’t let it show. He’s not sure of anything just yet.

“I should’ve posted a ‘no loitering’ sign,” Hyunjoon teases.

“Loitering would imply I didn’t have a reason to be here.” Juyeon holds out the bag to Hyunjoon. “Here’s my reason.”

Inside the bag is a potted plant, the purple base rounded and small enough to fit in the palm of Hyunjoon’s hand. It’s unlike any plant he’s seen before, no vibrant colors, no recognizable petals or stems. The petals seem to _be_ the stems, if that makes any sense, the edges of each “petal” dotted with dark spots.

“It’s a succulent,” Juyeon proclaims, when Hyunjoon stares at him, confused. “A panda plant, more specifically. They’re a kind of plant that don’t need as much water as regular flowers. Pretty, right?”

“Yeah, but... I don’t know how to care for a... succulent.” Hyunjoon frowns. He doesn’t have a green thumb by any means, either overwatering or letting plants dry out.

“I can help you! I help my mom garden all the time.” Sheepish, Juyeon rubs the back of his neck. “I just thought it, uh, would be nice for you. Taking care of plants is relaxing.” He smiles. “Not that you seem stressed or anything, but there’s been a lot going on and I wanted to help.”

So, Hyunjoon brings Juyeon into his room to figure out where to place the plant. While he’d originally wanted it on a shelf, Juyeon suggests the nightstand would be best for now. There should be just enough light from the window throughout the day to keep the succulent flourishing. The watering schedule can be sorted out later. Once they’ve set it down, Juyeon carefully rubs the plant as if petting a hamster. Hyunjoon smiles.

Before they return to the living room, Hyunjoon raises his voice. “Hyung, can I ask you something?”

Juyeon turns around. “Shoot.”

“Why... Why are you so nice to me?” Hyunjoon curls his hands into fists. “Why do you offer me rides, recommend me songs, give me your shoulder even when I don’t need to cry? Why did you give me a whole _plant_ to care for, and why—” He bites his bottom lip. “Why did you reject Eric?”

Quiet, Juyeon looks down at the ground. He takes a few seconds, conflicted, but when he meets Hyunjoon’s gaze his expression is more sure than ever. “Do you want me to say it? Really? I will. Seriously, I will.”

Hyunjoon is unable to hide his amusement as he asks, “Do you like me?” Because that would wrap everything up so neatly. Because Eric’s sadness wouldn’t have been in vain. Because Hyunjoon _really_ likes Juyeon, must’ve since the moment they met.

“I do,” Juyeon declares. “Do you?”

Hyunjoon doesn’t respond to that, instead proposing yet another question. “Why haven’t we gone on a date yet?”

“You’ve never asked.”

Hyunjoon gawks, taken aback. “I’ve never asked? _You’ve_ never asked.”

Juyeon crosses his arms. “Why would I have to ask?”

“You’re older!” Hyunjoon exclaims.

“So? You’re cuter.”

Hyunjoon laughs, shaking his head. Can it really be this easy? Juyeon reaches out to take his hand, pulling Hyunjoon towards him, warm in all the right places. Maybe it is.

“You’re impossible,” Hyunjoon grumbles.

Juyeon grins. “How’s tomorrow? I’m thinking a movie at the theater.” He scrunches his eyebrows. “Is dinner an overkill?”

“How about a movie and a visit to the Baskin Robbins next door?” Hyunjoon suggests. “Thirty-one flavors. We can share two or three.”

“It’s a date,” Juyeon affirms. His eyes trail to Hyunjoon’s lips, and Hyunjoon has no problem meeting him halfway, the kiss soft and sweet and simple.

“Finally!”

Hyunjoon jolts, nearly headbutting Juyeon in the nose. Both of them turn to see Eric in the hallway, expression stale, with Younghoon hanging off his shoulder.

“ _Dude_ ,” Hyunjoon hisses.

Eric holds up his hands, feigning innocence. “I wasn’t eavesdropping, I swear! My feet just happened to lead me here.”

Younghoon nods. “Yeah, mine, too.”

“Weren’t you asleep?” Juyeon asks. His arm is still wrapped around Hyunjoon’s waist, which makes the situation a bit more bearable.

“I’ve trained myself to nap for no more than two hours,” Younghoon explains, with a sense of accomplishment that doesn’t fit.

Hyunjoon raises an eyebrow. “Was that before or after you slept for eighteen hours because of your _My Hero Academia_ marathon?”

“After. It was a moral lesson.”

“Anyway, I wanted to be the first to know if you were actually gonna get together,” Eric goes on. “I mean, it was the least you guys could do, y’know, since Juyeon hyung rejected me and all. And my best friend had the hots for him the whole time, too.”

“We’re not actually ‘together’ yet,” Hyunjoon says.

Eric scoffs, “If elementary school has taught me anything, it’s that you guys definitely have cooties after that liplock. Cooties are the most accurate measure of a relationship status.” Younghoon nods.

Juyeon makes a face, baffled. “This feels a little... like a guilt trip?”

“It kind of is, but at least I’m not exploiting you!” Eric snaps his fingers and then finger-guns. “Come back to the living room. Ya boy’s about to win Uno!”

“Sangyeon hyung has sixty cards!” Younghoon exclaims, delighted, skipping down the hall.

Tugging Juyeon by the hand to follow, Hyunjoon frowns. “Wait, aren’t there only, like, a hundred Uno cards in a deck?”

“Sangyeon hyung stinks,” Eric snickers.

“Guess he needs a shower,” Juyeon says. Hyunjoon chuckles, and Eric stares at them, horrified.

“That was... terrible. Dear God, thank you for showing me the light. Juyeon hyung is a good match with Hyunjoon, because I swear no one else on earth would’ve laughed at that.”

Upon arriving in the living room, Hyunjoon and Juyeon are welcomed back with playful applause and teasing. Hyunjae has the most fun with it, attempting to start a chant that only Kevin follows. Chanhee exchanges money under the table with Sunwoo, and Jacob pinches Hyunjoon’s cheek once he sits back down. Eric tells them this may’ve never happened unless he’d “bravely given up his plight for Juyeon’s heart,” and Juyeon gets flustered as the boy recounts his bitter rejection, with all the extra dramatics and lamenting.

By midnight Sangyeon loses the third consecutive round of Uno, Haknyeon eats the entire bag the tortilla chips, and Hyunjoon falls asleep, listening to a playlist Juyeon made for him the night before.

——

 **JUYEON hyung♡ (08:21)**  
What time are regionals?

 **hwall-hwall (08:24)**  
it starts at 11  
pick me up at 9:45?

 **JUYEON hyung♡ (08:24)**  
I’ve got you!

 **hwall-hwall (08:25)**  
u r the (army) bomb  
♡♡♡

 **JUYEON hyung♡ (09:41)**  
I’m outside!  
Don’t look in the backseat

 **hwall-hwall (09:43)**  
omw out  
i will definitely look in the backseat

 **JUYEON hyung♡ (09:44)**  
:/

 **hwall-hwall (18:33)**  
[image attached]  
[image attached]  
[image attached]  
thanks for the flowers~

 **JUYEON hyung♡ (18:36)**  
You found them before you were supposed to  
:/

 **hwall-hwall (18:40)**  
u told me where they were !!  
and u should really get a snapchat  
it’s so! time-consuming! to send u! my selfies!

 **JUYEON hyung♡ (19:03)**  
Well....  
[image attached]  
Congrats on your bronze

 **hwall-hwall (19:05)**  
did u  
did u really  
is ur @ seriously hwallsbf11

 **JUYEON hyung♡ (19:08)**  
I’m your boyfriend!!

 **hwall-hwall (19:09)**  
THE #11 IS FOR KYRIE IRVING

 **JUYEON hyung♡ (19:10)**  
....... No comment

 **hwall-hwall** **(19:14)**  
don’t lose ur streak with me or i’ll sue

 **JUYEON hyung♡ (19:15)**  
What’s a streak

 **hwall-hwall (19:20)**  
oh u beautiful beautiful fool  
we’re going to the amusement park sunday  
have ur heart filters ready

 **JUYEON hyung♡ (19:22)**  
???  
Confused but excited?  
:^D

**Author's Note:**

> -fun fact: i started writing this last year lmao  
> -another fun fact: i imaged mrs.kim as cheetah & her wife as shin yoomi (aka i'm still not over pd101 jfc)


End file.
